The Double Standards of Aging
We know this scenario all too well: a couple in their middle-aged years whose marriage is falling apart. The successful, attractive husband described as a “gray fox” becomes distracted by a younger, beautifully fit female. All while the wife is described as older, less beautiful, and less youthful. Invisible. This trope is no coincidence but stems from the double standard of aging shaped by cultural perceptions of older men and women.
The 2024 film "Substance" starring Demi Moore powerfully illustrates this reality. Moore plays an Oscar-winning actress who is reduced to hosting a popular fitness show. On her 50th birthday, her boss (played by Dennis Quaid) remarks that her age now makes her undesirable:
I have to give people what they want. That's what keeps the shareholders happy. And people always ask for something new. Renewal is inevitable. And at 50... well... it stops
Exaggerated? Perhaps. But it certainly resonates.
What is it?
According to social research, the double standard of aging reveals that women are aged more by culture than by biology. With this double standard, middle-aged men are viewed as being at the height of their sexual attractiveness, while women are often devalued and viewed as less attractive once they show signs of aging. This term was first coined by Susan Sontag in 1972.
A man doesn't need to tamper with his face. A woman's face is the canvas on which she paints a revised portrait of herself -Susan Sontag
Research
It's not just imagination that men and women age differently in the public eye. Research confirms this bias exists and is deeply entrenched. A 2021 study published in the Journal of Women & Aging found that women face significantly more negative consequences from aging than men across multiple domains, including professional opportunities, social value, and sexual desirability.
A study from the National Bureau of Economic Research found that women on dating apps start experiencing a decline after the age of 18, while men's desirability peaks at 50. In another study, it was found that men found women less desirable if they had postgraduate education, while women found it more attractive when men had higher degrees!
How the old bitch has been able to stick around for this long. That's the fucking mystery to me - Harvey(in Substance, 2024)
Maggie Gyllenhaal famously revealed that at 37, she was told she was "too old" to play the love interest of a 55-year-old man. Actress Jamie Denbo was told at 43 that she was too old to play the wife of a 57-year-old actor.
Open any women's magazine, and you'll find a deluge of articles about fighting wrinkles, sagging, and other signs of the approaching apocalypse known as "looking your age." The global anti-aging market is projected to reach $88.3 billion by 2026, with women as the primary target consumers. Meanwhile, men's magazines focus on fitness, success, and wealth accumulation, rarely mentioning the dreaded "a-word." The implicit message? Men become more successful with age, while women must fight it tooth and nail.
"For men, gray hair is George Clooney and aging like wine. For women, it's aging like milk and being put out to pasture." — Comedian Sarah Silverman
Prejudice to discrimination to lower health
According to a 2022 study by AARP, 2 out of 3 women over age 50 faced discrimination, with ageism being the most frequent. Many older women find themselves out of the workforce due to prejudice causing severe strain on mental and financial health.
Research shows that ageism manifests itself as obesity, hypertension, anxiety, and more. A 2020 study in the United States calculated an impact of US$63 billion as the eight most expensive health conditions for those over 60 in just one year. Research also shows declining cognitive ability, especially in minorities, due to age discrimination.
Women are never the right age. We are either ‘going to get pregnant’ or ‘too old’
As women age, they not only encounter professional discrimination but also face a complex social landscape where both resisting and accepting aging are subject to criticism. If a woman gets work done, she's "trying too hard" and "looks unnatural." If she doesn't, she's "letting herself go". One respondent shared, “Ageism is so intertwined with sexism, so it is hard to separate the two.”
Around 80% of women either faced or witnessed age-related discrimination in their careers. According to this same study, the impacts of ageism are significant. More than half (55 percent) of women said they experienced lower self-confidence as a result of age-based discrimination.
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Social media's emphasis on youth-oriented beauty ideals can be particularly challenging for older women, as Western beauty ideals commonly associate beauty with youth, and older adults tend to be underrepresented in media. This creates a distorted perception of beauty among younger adults and adult males. This causes the worsening perception of self-beauty, especially among women who are about to enter their midlife stage.
These platforms have caused a wide range of divisive opinions. While one section believes that it is empowering a section of women, many psychologists have strong consideration of its sexual inclination, causing long-term harmful effects on society, such as a distorted sense of beauty. Overuse and reactions of likes & subscriptions and more have led to self-objectification and lower self-esteem.
In a particularly revealing scene, Moore's character rejects herself from a potential date, scrutinizing her appearance with such harsh self-judgment that she cannot see beyond her perceived flaws. A chilling reflection of how constant prejudice makes us our own harshest critics.
Men are victims too!
In certain industries – especially technology – men face brutal ageism, too. Silicon Valley notoriously worships youth, with the median age at major tech companies hovering around 30. Mark Zuckerberg once infamously claimed that "young people are just smarter," while tech job listings often seek "digital natives" (code for "under 35").
Venture capitalist Vinod Khosla once stated that "people over 45 basically die in terms of new ideas". He later clarified his statement.
Young people are just smarter - Mark Zuckerberg
A survey by job site Indeed found that 43% of tech workers worry about losing their job because of their age, with workers starting to feel age discrimination as early as 40. Research shows that age discrimination is a growing concern as workforce demographics shift, with the proportion of workers over 55 years rising significantly, from 11.9% in 1995 to 24.5% in 2021, according to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics. For many men, having a crisis after years of a career is significant. Men remain the primary providers of the family. Losing your job in midlife & later life is detrimental to your finances, as your kids may still be growing up and may add to more burden if one has to support aging parents.
Unfortunately, even here, women face far more corporate discrimination than men. Women are proven to be much more vulnerable to this and may end up moving out of the workforce altogether.
Contradictions: women are flexible
Some forward-thinking companies like Atlassian recognize that age diversity is key to innovative ideas and decision-making. They've found that senior hires tend to be more loyal, likely to stay in positions longer, and bring extensive professional networks to their roles.
Employers universally report that older workers "bring a level of experience, critical thinking and sheer knowledge that cannot be taught." In some specialized industries, it takes a decade or longer for workers to gain the necessary technical skills to be fully proficient in their roles. Critical industries such as medical, hospitality, nursing, manufacturing, and mining have proven how experienced employees can be a crucial asset as well as differentiators. At Oseterics, the bulk of our content creation and social media is handled by 50+ experts.
Men tend to generally follow a linear career trajectory, whereas women typically experience more flexible career stages, mainly due to caregiving responsibilities for children or aging parents. Studies have found that while men often look forward to retirement after a certain age, older women frequently gain more confidence and seek opportunities to add value.
Research on middle- and older-age women finds many female employees experiencing enhanced personal empowerment as they age, perceiving themselves as intelligent, assertive, and determined (Denmark & Klara, 2007).
Way forward
The World Health Organization (WHO) is leading a Global Campaign for Combating Ageism in partnership with key stakeholders, an initiative supported by WHO's 194 Member States. This campaign aims to change the narrative around age and aging and help create a world for all ages. The lower self-perception and self-esteem is found to cause people to avoid better self-care and sometimes accept aging as a condition.
There is tremendous upside for the economy as well. Estimates from Australia suggest that if just 5% more people aged 55 or older were employed, there would be a positive impact of AUD$48 billion on the national economy annually.
The sooner growing older is stripped of reflexive dread, the better equipped we are to benefit from the countless ways in which it can enrich us - Ashton Applewhite, This Chair Rocks: A Manifesto Against Ageism
Addressing this prejudice is a challenge of our time. But perhaps most importantly, it is our self-perception that ultimately determines how we navigate the aging process and take care of ourselves.